I am seeing a patient tomorrow

Ok, I am nervous about seeing a patient tomorrow. Part of our class is about conducting patient interviews to improve our interviewing skills and to give us patient contact. I think it is a terrific idea, but it is a bit nerve-racking when I am officially 13 hours away from seeing the patient. If this were a normal interview I think I would be fine. As C can attest, I can be very outgoing professionally and when I need to be. Not to say that I am an anti-social recluse (well, at least not all of the time) and I really do enjoy seeing patients and hearing life stories.

But this interview is different. It is going to be videotaped!!! They are videotaping us so that we can have an idea of how we come across to a patient and what our non-verbal cues are like. So now I have several issues mounting:

1. I am completely willied out by watching or hearing myself on tape. Even a clip of it is terrible and now I have to watch this tape twice and one of those times with another person.

2. This is completely personal! If there is a problem in my presentation, I want to know about it, but I have to sit through a session of someone else critiquing my own personal habits and the way I naturally interact with another living being.

3. Did I mention that I don't like to see myself on tape. My voice always comes out funny like I have a really bad cold and I sound very nasal. (if this is true, please don't tell me, just continue to lie to me as you all have been doing so well for my whole life).

Why can't I be normal about this all and accept it as part of the class and not get so twickered?

Disgustingly enough, by this time tomorrow I will know that it had all turned out fine and that I sounded ok on the tape and I didn't make anyone cry and I will have that horrible feeling of knowing that all of this worry and thought was for naught.

Hindsight in foresight can really suck.